I find these things annoying.

Bouncing around this idea has been a long time coming.

I suppose I always knew that I hated everything. Not so much everything, but...; ok, let me try and explain this.
I perceive as one would expect their cynical department to do if it were to take over. I can find anything wrong with anything. Burden? Or source material for an exciting adventure into humor and heartwarming epiphanies?
Shyea.

So more to the point, this is the sandbox for a possible tome of an embarrassingly caustic, cynically enlightened individual in the pursuit of knowledge.
In other words I'm a magnificent asshole and I want to write a book about it.

And I will.

Celebricy

I believe it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said something to the tune of "simple minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, and great minds discuss ideas." I try to stick to this as much as I can, I hate spending minutes talking about people and who said what to who, especially when they're not even people anyone in the conversation has ever met. That's usually when I leave the party. I hate idol worship, and hate is a very strong word. Maybe it's because so many people's lives are unfulfilling and it's all they can do to live vicariously through the TV. If this sounds like you you're wasting your life and you need help. Once again, strong words but I feel very strongly about this.

Suggestions for not sucking like this:

Turn off your TV.

Take an interest in the news and what's happening in the world around you.

Discuss with others.

Try to figure out the "why" of anything and everything.

Form opinions.

Constantly re-evaluate and strengthen your opinions.

Speak your mind when you disagree with the opinions of others.

Bee's Knees.

If I was the bee's knees... well, I wouldn't exist.
I have this little bug on my shoulder, nippin at my ear every time I see a television screen. Well, at least one with cable or satellite or whatever crazy new doodad you people are watching the tube with these days. Anywho, all I've heard about is god-damn Michael Jackson.
Do NOT get me wrong. The man was talented and did an undeniable amount for the world of pop music. He was an inspiration for many and hell, he could carry a tune like no other. But that was more than 10 years ago. Look what he turned into. I don't even have to explain it because we all know. And there lies the problem.
This country, culture, world spends so much fucking time fawning over celebrities and entertainment that we're failing to look around us. We can't wait to see who won American Idol and, hand in hand, who fizzles out under the gestapo-like eye of the media.
Why can't we get back to arts? Hiking, camping and enjoying our damn world?! We're glued to screens 24/7. Now I do my fair share of screen gazing, but I find standing/laying in one spot and just staring up at the sky is more entertaining in every respect. Given there's only 25 stars above this oven of a city, but I know them intimately now.
I'm honestly scared for this world.


Consequently I'm also scared of snakes.

yay america?

I went to the fourth of July parade with work and with every little section that passed I felt a bit less proud to be an American. About half of the people I saw walking around were very overweight, about half the remainder would be considered very overweight in any other country in the world. About half the little girls I saw running around were dressed like 20 year olds on their way to a club. It all kinda makes me sick. We think that just because we're Americans we're somehow the best people in the world, nevermind how much we persecute our own citizens because of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious views etc. I'm always amazed at the amount of ignorance, prejudice, and just plain backwards thinking there is in this "land of the free, home of the brave."

America is past its prime and it's time that people start being okay with this idea.

Fucking Fireworks and Shit.

It's July! I don't think there's much cause for celebration in July so I apologize for my exuberance. Sure there's the FOURTH of July. But c'mon, the way this countries goin, no-ones celebrating it for the right reasons.
Freedom? Equality?! What the hell are you smoking? The FOURTH OF JULY(!!!) is about hot dogs and beer, and fireworks, man! Maybe we'll grill up some got damn cheeseburgers too! We can set up the slip and slide for the kids and get drunk and have 6 more. Yup, God Bless America.
I hate my country.

No, that's too harsh. I hate a great deal of my country. If I had the power to clone, travel through time, and had some pretty mad crazy medical skills, I could fix everything.
How? Well, sure, let me tell you.
Time travel mother fucker. Go back, pick up Jefferson, Franklin, Lincoln, maybe see what Twain's up to just to say whats up. You get the gist though.

So, loyal reader (Lucas), this fourth, go ahead and get drunk, I know I will; but let us get drunk and plot. It's about time we as a people used up a redo.

Barks.

So this page has fallen to neglect. For that I am ashamed. I would commit Hari Kari, Seppuku, if I was Japanese. But I was cursed with this creamy white skin. It does afford me unparalleled opportunities, but also likes to crisp in the whore of an Arizona sun.
Anyway, what to say? I learned recently that the big dipper is an American constellation. Well, not so much the actual constellation, although I'm sure we'd like to take credit for the universe, but the name. Did you know it was actually a bear in ancient cultures? I don't know if it was Roman or Greek, so I didn't specify to avoid looking uneducated. At least I can spell though, right? But I digress, the handle of the- wait now that I think of it, it was the Greeks. Ok, so, the handle of the dipper is actually the bears tail, and the cup...part, is the body. In the same vein the little dipper is just a tiny bear with self-esteem issues. But the story went, and this is para-phrased, that Zeus threw them into the sky to keep them safe, making their tails long.

Lies. I think there may be a cover up here. How do we know that bears back then didn't have ridiculously long tails? Or maybe Zeus threw them up there because bears were getting it on with lions/tigers?
Scary shit. Let's just be glad bears and sharks have no sexual attraction because, let's face it, we would not be around at that point.
Doesn't mean it's not fun to think about. What if, and please someone read this and try it, we made bear-sharks? Barks. Would you not want to own one?
Imagine if you will: Alarm goes off, you wake up. Shower, eat, knit, whatever the hell it is sane people do as a routine. I lost interest. Just imagine riding a bear-shark. You could not only destroy anything, including steel and meteorites, but could also ride that bitch in the ocean.

That's all I'm sayin.

alan silkworm

it's kinda hard to pour one's heart and soul out onto a keyboard knowing that it'd make the keys sticky and short the system. not to mention that most of our desired readership reads other ships. but that's no reason to not try. while we're at it lets just get a lotta stuff out on the floor.

pistol shrimp
slime mold
origins of life
sea monsters
mad science
robot theme parks
art
humanity

also, while we're at it let's address cynicism, sympathy, and survival of the fittest. don't forget your stamps.


ps gooey GUI= no good.